My Picks for the MTV VMA's 2011

We all know that the MTV Video Music Awards don't mean shit. It never has and never will. It's just a bunch of phoney awards that MTV airs each year because it gets huge ratings and buzz and often produces defining moments of popular culture like this:

But then, who cares! After MTV officially disassociated themselves as a music channel last year, the VMAs are the only thing that ties the channel to its roots before The Hills, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom took over.

Here are my picks from this year's nominees.

Video of The Year

Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN - this fucking song was all over American radio when I was there two months ago)
Beastie Boys – Make Some Noise
Bruno Mars – Grenade
Katy Perry – Firework *SHOULD WIN*
Tyler, the Creator – Yonkers

Best Pop Video

Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN - I've never even seen this video, but I'm sure it's Adele being "sassy" on camera*
Britney Spears – Till The World Ends
Bruno Mars – Grenade
Katy Perry – Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) *SHOULD WIN*
Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Nayer and Afrojack – Give Me Everything

Best Rock Video

Cage the Elephant – Shake Me Down
Foo Fighters – Walk
Foster the People – Pumped up Kicks
Mumford & Sons – The Cave
The Black Keys – Howlin’ For You

Whatevs.

Best Hip Hop Video

Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes – Look At Me Now

Kanye West - All of the Lights *SHOULD & WILL WIN*

Lil Wayne – 6 Foot, 7 Foot
Lupe Fiasco – The Show Goes On
Nicki Minaj – Super Bass

Best Female Video

Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN - because for some reason MTV and American radio orgasm over this girl*
Beyonce – Run The World (Girls)
Katy Perry – Firework *SHOULD WIN*
Lady Gaga – Born This Way
Nicki Minaj – Super Bass

Best Male Video

Bruno Mars – Grenade *SHOULD WIN - because he's part Filipino*
Cee Lo Green – F**k You
Eminem feat. Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie
Justin Bieber – U Smile *WILL WIN - because this bitch threw a fit when he lost the Best New Artist Grammy this year*
Kanye West feat. Rihanna and Kid Cudi – All of The Lights

Best New Artist

Big Sean feat. Chris Brown – My Last
Foster The People – Pumped Up Kicks
Kreayshawn – Gucci Gucci
Tyler, the Creator – Yonkers *SHOULD & WILL WIN - I actually like his videos even though he seems like such an attention seeking douchebag*
Wiz Khalifa – Black and Yellow

Best Collaboration

Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes – Look At Me Now
Kanye West feat. Rihanna and Kid Cudi – All of The Lights
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T *WILL WIN - The fact that this went to number one in America yet the original version called "All The Things She Said" by Tatu didn't (while still going number one worldwide in 2003) speaks volumes...
Nicki Minaj feat. Drake – Moment 4 Life *SHOULD WIN*
Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Nayer and Afrojack – Give Me Everything

Best Direction

30 Seconds to Mars – Hurricane
Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN - I told you...everyone in America had an erection over this fucking song*
Beastie Boys – Make Some Noise
Eminem feat. Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T

This should've gone to Melina, the director of Rihanna's S&M

Best Cinematography

30 Seconds to Mars – Hurricane
Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN*
Beyonce – Run The World (Girls)
Eminem feat. Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie
Katy Perry – Teenage Dream

Boo. None of these people should receive this award.

Best Art Direction

Adele – Rolling In The Deep
Death Cab for Cutie – You Are A Tourist
Kanye West feat. Dwele – Power
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T *SHOULD & WILL WIN*
Lady Gaga – Judas

Best Choreography

Beyonce – Run The World (Girls)
Britney Spears – Till The World Ends
Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song
Lady Gaga – Judas
LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett and Goon – Party Rock Anthem *SHOULD & WILL WIN*

Even though not nominated, I'm sure MTV would've loved to nominate fucking Adele for this award, too.

Best Editing

30 Seconds to Mars – Hurricane
Adele – Rolling In The Deep *WILL WIN - I would gladly put this under 'SHOULD & WILL WIN' if they edit this whole song out of existence*
Kanye West feat. Rihanna and Kid Cudi – All of The Lights
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T
Manchester Orchestra – Simple Math

Best Special Effects

Chromeo – Don’t Turn The Lights On
Kanye West feat. Dwele – Power
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West – E.T
Linkin Park – Waiting for The End
Manchester Orchestra – Simple Math

Will Adele be around next year? Or will she be another Florence + The Machine? Another artist out of the mainstream with a good, critically-acclaimed album that broke into mainstream America...only to be forgotten after a year.