Eating Out 3 - All You Can Eat: A Film Review...saved from my old blog

I'm currently thinking about transferring my old blog to this one. Not sure yet...but I did take a look at some of my old draft posts. Good lord. It's a digital trash and treasure market, for real.


Amongst the drafts I found this nifty little review of the comedy, Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat. I wrote it during a dark time last year when I used to procrastinate by watching lame movies instead of dong uni work!


Here it is:

Eating Out 3: How I Wasted Two Hours of Study Time.

Sooo rather than I dunno, continuing with my college work I decided to watch Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat instead.

I really disliked the character, Tiffany in the first two movies, mainly because she was so over-the-top. But in this movie, since it doesn’t feature Marc or Kyle, she is the only one left in the franchise. She’s still funny too. After Casey tells her of his desire for romance rather than sex, the hypersexual Tiffany quips “It’s called homosexual, not homo-hug-ual”.

Please don't judge me, it’s funnier when you watch this shit at four in the morning.

This time round, the main character is Casey, a skinny, sensitive twink. Casey has the hots for hunky  Zack (Chris Salvatore). He’s so enamored by him after their first meeting, Casey stalks Zack’s online profile straight away. At this point, the movie had a very realistic vibe going on. Very realistic.

To alleviate the stalker-vibe, Casey and Tiffany come up with a zany scheme of inventing a fake profile, using pictures of one of Tiffany’s (many) hot ex-boyfriends.

Of course, the plot doesn’t really matter.

I thoroughly disliked Casey, I thought he was super whiny and a terrible, fugly actor to boot. But the worst actor by far though was Zack’s ex-boyfriend Lionel (played by some dude off a Janice Dickinson reality show). The way he kept mumbling his lines, I had no idea what the hell he was saying. Coming a close second was Zack’s ‘sassy’ friend, who was a wannabe Margaret Cho.

It was light hearted albeit poorly acted fun until the filmmakers threw in an overtly-saccharine, melodramatic speech in the end about LGBT centres. I liked the idea of it, but the way they went about it was…not very good to say the least. It felt way too forced and out of place in a film where the two main characters engage in deep conversations inexplicably shirtless having a picnic. The only thing I liked about the speech scene was when some random in the audience mistook Tiffany for a drag queen.

Oh, forget about plot. You want the details: two peens on screen and some pretty mechanical, hilariously cheesy sex scenes. Oh and for some reason, there are also two of the most bizarre scenes in which Lionel jacks off in front of Zack's door (WTF?) and later, Tiffany gets herself off randomly. The screenwriter was smoking crack.

TWO stars of out FIVE: one star each for Tiffany and Zack ;P

Watch Eating Out 3 alone when you’re desperately bored of life and wanna see a lol-worthy flick during the early hours of the morning.