Talk that Talk / Rihanna: A Review

Rihanna follows up last year's Loud with her sixth studio album, Talk that Talk. It's the usual Rihanna mix of formulaic dance, r&b and pop.

Her marketing team has heralded a new look this era and the red wig she's been forced to wear the past year has finally been burned at the stake. Obviously taking inspiration from the 90s, they've chosen to dress up the music industry's most successful puppet in flannelette, earthy colours and long, flowy natural locks. She looks like Samantha Mumba.

The deluxe edition cover. Don't get me started on the cover of the standard edition.

1. YOU DA ONE (6/10)

I hated it at first, but it's grown on me in the space of a few hours. I usually hate Rihanna's ghetto trash anthems (see: Raining Men feat. Nicki Minaj, most of the aural shit known as Rated R). It's the power of Rihanna's hooks...

2. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN (7/10)

Gets an extra point for totally fitting in my life right now.

3. WE FOUND LOVE (7/10)

I liked this as the first single. It's good. But not great. Much like the whole album.

4. TALK THAT TALK feat. JAY Z (10/10)

Yes, Stargate and Ester Dean basically reproduced their Rihanna hit Rude Boy for 2011/2012 but this is a future number one hit guaranteed.

5. COCKINESS (LOVE IT) (7/10)

Sounds like the songs Bangladesh has produced for Beyonce (Diva) and Jessica Mauboy (Get Em Girls). Rihanna coos, "suck my cockiness...lick my persuasion". Oh Rihanna, shut your filthy whore mouth. You've basically ensured all teens born in 1993-1997 will be absolute skanks growing up listening to that.

6. BIRTHDAY CAKE (6/10)

Rihanna continues her explicitness with this interlude. It's like S&M except she says fuck.

7. WE ALL WANT LOVE (6/10)

Rihanna turns from cock-sucking vampress to a virginal peace goddess with this track. Yeah, I don't buy it either. I love S&M Rihanna better than this we are the world crap!

8. DRUNK ON LOVE (7.5/10)

Her voice grates at the beginning but I like this track a lot.

9. ROC ME OUT (8.5/10)

I'd love this to be a single, simply because it sounds more rockier than the other tracks.

10. WATCH N' LEARN (3/10)

Why this Music of the Sun reject track ended up on an album is a mystery.

11. FAREWELL (8/10)

Perfect way to end the album. It doesn't quite have the repeat factor of Talk that Talk or Roc Me Out but it's very Cheers (Drink to that), non? "And it even though it kills me that you have to go/I know I will be sadder if you never hit the road". True dat, Ester Dean. Speaking of, did she like write half the fucking album? And the nerve of Island Def Jam to give Calvin Harris a "feature" credit on We Found Love. Really, the album should be credited as Ester Dean featuring Rihanna.

ALBUM SCORE: 3 stars out of FIVE. It's a decent commercial pop album with obvious future number ones but let's face it, she has not showed any growth musically in over six albums. This record sounds exactly the same as Loud, the same as Rated R, the same as Good Girl Gone Bad.